PITTSBURGH — The holidays can be a tough time for our loved ones in long-term care, even with no pandemic.  This year, adding COVID-19 to the mix is creating a whole new level of anxiety and loneliness.

“It’s hard, honey, especially when families get together like we always did,” said Blanche Warcholak, a resident of Paramount Senior Living in McMurray.

COVID-19 complicating holidays

Warcholak, 93, is a happy soul — the kind of person who sings a little song when she pushes the button for the elevator.

“I push it like this — da da da dee da da da da,” she sang with a smile.

But even Warcholak can’t help but be a little down, knowing she won’t get to go home for Thanksgiving this year.  If she leaves the building, she’ll have to go into quarantine for 14 days when she returns.

“You know, I could cry, but I don’t want to because I don’t want her to feel bad if I’m crying,” Warcholak said, more worried about her daughter than herself.

And her daughter, Mary Lou Warcholak, echoed her mother’s sentiment.

“Honey, I want to see her in the worst way possible. You can’t even imagine,”  Mary Lou Warcholak said. “When she calls me and tells me she feels lonesome and she feels away from the family, it just breaks my heart.”

Isolation taking its toll

Many nursing homes and assisted living facilities have been on lockdown for more than eight months now. The isolation from loved ones is taking its toll on many residents, leading to increased depression and accelerated physical decline.

“We’ve had some circumstances where people have told us their loved one’s dementia has progressed so greatly that over the course of these months, their parents don’t recognize them anymore,” said Pennsylvania Long-Term Care Ombudsman Kim Shetler.

Now, with COVID-19 cases surging again, even care homes that started to reopen and allow visitation again are locking back down.

“So many people got one or two visits or some face-to-face time, even outdoors. And now that’s being pulled back, and that’s really traumatic as well,” Shetler said.

Creative ways to connect

Paramount Senior Living was one of the first facilities in western Pennsylvania to allow in-person, socially distant visits between family and residents starting in June. For the holidays, they are scheduling half-hour visits for family and also coming up with other creative ways to help families connect from a distance.

“Everybody’s going to be able to schedule a dinner with their family members,” said James Cox, Paramount’s owner, showing Channel 11 a special café set up for virtual visits. “The resident will eat in here. We’ll turn on the TV, and then the family members can be at home, and they can enjoy a virtual dinner with their family member sitting here.”

If your family member’s care home is not allowing in-person visits, there are other ways you can help to make your loved one’s holiday a little less lonely. Here are a few ideas:

• Drop off a favorite meal.
• Drop off a goodie bag.
• Schedule a Zoom call or window visit.
• Make a simple phone call.
• Send treats for your loved one and the staff.

Little things can mean the world to a loved one who is lonely — just ask Blanche Warcholak, whose daughter often sends her goodie bags filled with all kinds of treats, such as potato chips and Tootsie Rolls.

“Oh, I’m like a little kid!” Warcholak said excitedly. “I can’t wait to look in my bag and take out all my goodies. I think, ‘Oh boy!’”

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